


What's On My Mind

by righteousgonewrong



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 01:46:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4460594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/righteousgonewrong/pseuds/righteousgonewrong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <i>Finally he spoke, his eyes lowered. "I was just wondering if you would-- I mean... would you like me better if I was a girl?"</i>
  </p>
</blockquote>Sam and Dean discuss Dean's sexuality.
            </blockquote>





	What's On My Mind

**Author's Note:**

> /shrugs

Sam was quiet. 

Not that that in itself was worrying. Sam had different kinds of quiet. There was 'deep in nerdy concentration' quiet, when he was doing research or just reading notes in the Bunker. Then there was 'you're mad at me and I don't feel like dealing with it' quiet. Which was obviously off the list of possibilities, since they hadn't fought about anything in a while. Then there was 'I'm trying to keep myself from acting on all sorts of bad thoughts right now', a new quiet that came with a smouldering look that made Dean weak.   
Unfortunately, it wasn't that kind of quiet.

No, this was 'I want to say something to you but I don't want to talk about it' quiet. The kind of quiet Sam got when something was bothering him.

By night time, Dean was done.

"Look, man, if you don't spit it out already I'm gonna lose it," he warned when they had laid down for bed and Sam had settled awkwardly against his side.

"What are you--?" Sam tried to brush it off, tried to act like he didn't know.

"Don't you try that with me," Dean warned. "Whatever's been on your mind all day giving you that kicked puppy look, tell me."

Sam was quiet.

Finally he spoke, his eyes lowered. "I was just wondering if you would-- I mean... would you like me better if I was a girl?"

"What?" Dean sat up so fast it them both off balance. "Why would you ask that? No, man, don't be ridiculous."

"But you like girls," Sam pointed out, avoiding Dean's eyes as he regained his balance. "And I'm not one."

Dean was struck silent. Both by the absurdity of Sam's question, the idea that he would like Sam as anything but what he was, and the fact that he didn't have a clear answer to give.

Honestly, this had been a topic that had bothered him on occasion too. If he liked Sam, _wanted_ Sam, did that mean he was gay? But he didn't like men. He wasn't checking them out on the streets, he had never wanted to pick a dude up at a bar... It was just Sam. 

So what did that say about his sexuality? It wasn't something liked lingering on. It was confusing and made him question himself, and it didn't matter anyways. When had his and Sam's relationship ever been explainable?

"I like _you_ ," he pointed out, not because it was cheesy and Hallmark-y or because it was the right thing to say, but because it was true. Sam was the exception to the rule, every rule, always had been. "All of you," he added softly. 

Sam seemed to get that this was a confusing topic for Dean, the kind of confusing that the hunter usually pushed to the back of his mind and purposely avoided, answering instead with a small nod. 

"Thank you..." The words were barely above a muffled whisper breathed into his shirt as Sam fell against him.

"Don't thank me," Dean ordered.

He leaned down to kiss Sam's forehead but his brother moved at the last moment, bringing their lips together instead. 

Dean wasn't complaining. Kissing Sam felt good. It felt right.

He didn't know what that meant, what that made him, or what it made them. But it didn't matter. All that mattered was that they were together. Just like they were always meant to be.


End file.
